Brighter than the Sun
by Bitcheesquared
Summary: Damon was gone. She'd chosen, thinking that Stefan would always be her guiding light and Damon her darkly glowing star. One shot Post 3:22


Brighter than the Sun

It wasn't until the third night after she had woken on the morgue table; after a long drawn out agonizing decision over whether to transition or not, that Elena realized she hadn't seen Damon in days.

When she asked Caroline if she knew where he was, she was told, carefully and with much eye avoidance, to ask Stefan.

But when Stefan sat her down and explained gently, because after all this was the Stefan she'd fought for and won, that he was very sorry but Damon was gone, she hadn't understood what he'd meant. Not at first.

Gone where, she'd asked and when was he getting back, because she wanted to speak to him. Avoiding the question in Stefan's eyes she'd rushed on to explain that she hadn't had a chance to speak to Damon, what with everything that had gone on, and that he was her friend and that she was concerned at how he'd been handling everything.

By the time she realized what Stefan was really saying, she was in such a state of denial that she'd barely reacted when he'd pulled her into his arms; a gesture she was sure was meant to be comforting.

She'd frozen there, one thought circling in her head like one of her dads old records stuck on repeat.  
He's gone, he can't be gone, he promised he'd never leave me again.

She'd held it together until she reached the landing upstairs, and then the dread in her heart wouldn't be held in any longer.

She'd run to his room and thrown open the door expecting to see him lounging on his bed, bourbon glass in hand or even dressed in nothing more than a towel and smirk as he exited his bathroom. But his room was empty and his bathroom was clear of towels; even the basin was dry.

Looking around a little more carefully she began to see other signs. His copy of Gone with the Wind and the few other favorite books he always kept by the bed were gone, along with the bottle of his favorite liquor missing from the bureau. Even his spare leather jacket was missing from its normal hook behind the door.

It was true, he'd gone. Damon had really left her.  
Her eyes scanned the room one last time and that's when she'd noticed the piece of paper poking out from under the edge of the bed.

Bending down to pick it up she froze in the process of standing as she saw her name scrawled in Damon's elegant script, across what she could now see was a folded piece of note paper.

She stared at it numbly, realizing that it must have been swept there by the draft caused when she threw open his door.

Legs shaking she turned and sank down on Damon's bed. Her hands were trembling as she unfolded the note and started to read.

_Elena, I'm not going to start this letter with the whole if your reading this then you made your choice and I've left Mystic Falls crap that my brother undoubtedly would have._

_Instead, I'm writing this to tell you that I know that you never wanted to be a vampire and I'm truly sorry that things didn't work out like you wanted. But saying that, I can't be sorry that you are still in the world and I never will be._

_One day, if we meet again; most likely a hundred years from now (probably after you've finally seen sense and ditched my boring brother... Joking) You and I will sit and laugh about how this all seemed so much like and ending when really it was just the beginning. You Elena Gilbert have your whole life ahead of you and being a vampire is only a small part of it._

_You may not believe so now, but there will come a day that you will be at peace with what has happened to you and I promise you that you will look back and marvel at all the sight's you've seen and all the people you have had in your life, especially those who have loved and been loved by you._

_And yes there will be dark times ahead, but Elena if you've never believed anything I've said before, believe this. You are going to be okay, you will get through it all, because there is a strength inside of you that you have only just started to understand._

_Now I'm going to tell you the one great truth of being a vampire:_

_Time is something that never runs out for us, and though right now that seems more of a curse than a blessing, it is also a gift. You can think of it as having the ultimate do-over if you like. Because you have time now to be and experience everything and time to make mistakes and time to fix those mistakes._

_You also have a couple of things that most vampire's don't. First you have family: Jeremy, Matt, Bonnie, Caroline and Stefan, they are your family regardless of DNA. Trust them to be there for you because that's what family does, whether you want them too or not._

_And secondly you have your beautiful and sometimes stubborn nature, so listen to it Elena, because as much as I hated it sometimes, it's what makes you who you are and what's allowed you to get this far despite so much loss._

_You are the strongest person I have ever known and if we never meet again know that I'm a better man just for having known you this brief time._

_Katherine might have made me a into a vampire but you made me remember how to be human and I will always always love you for that if nothing else._

_Take care of my brother, love each other and know that I love you both. Your friendship and compassion will stay with me all the remaining days of my life, as will your beauty and kindness ._

_Brighter Than the sun. That's what you are to me and will always remain._

_Be happy Elena._

_Yours Always_  
_Damon._

She sat for a very long time, there on Damon's bed, his letter in her hand. And even after Stefan came and left, shortly followed by Caroline ,she still couldn't find a way to move.

How was she supposed to just get up and live, to go through endless days of a life she'd never wanted. How could she possibly live a life without his snark and sarcasm, his mocking laughter and his tender fierceness. What would she do without Damon to hate and to fight with. How could she possibly survive without him being there to save her from herself. Who would challenge her decisions and do what she needed, rather than what she wanted.

How could she go on without his love. This man who loved her enough to not be selfish.

Sitting there in a room that he'd never be in again, Elena felt the last of her walls and self denial come crashing down.

Damon was gone.

She'd chosen, thinking that Stefan would always be her guiding light and Damon her darkly glowing star.

When all along it had been Damon's love and strength that had sustained her, his passion and his fire that had kept her sane and alive.

He'd been the one who was Brighter than the sun, his love for her so dazzling she'd refused to look at it directly.

Scared that she'd be consumed in his light she'd chosen safety, and now she'd never be warm again.

He'd left her and now there was nothing left here but the darkness of her endless vampire night.

Sitting alone in Damon's room Elena Gilbert finally knew what true heart break was.


End file.
